Not ‘who’, what, Christmas.
That seasonal Christian event beloved by children the world over ?
Seasonal, yes, the rest is a load of hogwash started by religion to gain power over the populace by usurping the pagans.
Hang on…Christians celebrate the anniversary of birth on 25th December 2000 something years ago
Well no. Firstly there’s no agreement on the year, estimates have a 6 year time span and the month and day ‘set’ 400 years later not coincidentally choosing the same date as a number of pagan festivals. It continues to this day even forgetting the 1582 switch from the Julian to Gregorian calendar.
Anyway it’s your parent(s), usually mummy that buys them with real money, her own, daddy’s or handouts from the state (aka Hardworking Families). The ‘Santa Tracker‘ your ankle-biters follow is just a website knocked up by the US Department of Defense as they got fed up with all the calls as a result of, yes a commercial advertisement for a department store in a newspaper, albeit with a typo. Nowadays, NORAD has become the PR wing of your friendly global spying agency, the NSA.
But the Santa I took my kids to at the local shopping centre sounded..er…not American ?
Correct. These Santas are just some blokes, and elves some young attractiveish women, from your local area, most likely dressed in costumes from some cheapskate store, wishing they weren’t there or chatting up the photographer instead of earning their minimum wage. The delightful children are much more demanding.
Er..But he’s a nice person with a white beard and flowing red cloak. What’s not to like ?
Capitalism. although first popularised in 1902 he’s been used to sell no end of tat since 1915.
Ok but it’s a time to get together and eat, drink and be merry.
Putting aside the alleged 6000 calories for ‘the day itself’ (its your fault when your child gets taken into care when they have the ‘weight’ of an adult by the time they start primary school), it’s not helping Hardworking UK businesses either where the not-so-have avail themselves of the new entrants of German stores, or food banks for the really unfortunate, and the middle class pile in to M&S for their over priced produce which if it includes alcohol, some form of pork product or want to pay by credit card and have the misfortune to be served by a Muslim, results in the customer being subjected to religious intolerance.
As for drinking merry, well it’s now as much of a test of man/woman-hod to see how much you can drink and who ends up in hospital or on the pages of the tabloids. For the women readers, in case you want to know is not your fault that you’ve become as much of a lush as men, just blame Babycham.
A time for the family ?
So Mr Scrooge, shouldn’t you just bugger off and let the rest of us get pissed, obese, and broke all by ourselves ?
Cromwell was right; even in the 17th century things were getting out of hand. These days it’s been taken over by the retailers because they know that, in spite of increasing fuel, housing and grocery costs, we all want our shiny tat made in a sweatshop in a third world country – especially at Christmas.
As for what you, dear reader do, I don’t care really; the state wants feeding so make sure you’re back earning your keep sharpish tomorrow; there’s loads of people on benefits that need fed, clothed and housed. Chop Chop.